This was a cool retelling of the story. I enjoyed the read. Biggest criticism would be that the dialog near the end felt off. maybe too explainy. It felt jarring for Wendy to stand up to him. at least time. I think it would of been cool if initially it was more physical. him trying to give hook what it wants but Wendy able to cleverly slip free and turn the tables.
other than my own personal preference not really anything else i could criticize one. well structured, kept me in suspense of what was gonna happen and ended kinda like a camp fire story might. gives it that lingering vibe.
Thank you for reading! This is a great insight, and I always love to hear different interpretations to a story - there’s so many ways they can go and I really like what you suggest here. Appreciate you taking the time to leave feedback!
The cycle continues . . . This was super dope. Um I might be dumb but I didn’t notice Pete was well — PETE until the realization of the hook at the end. Super dope shit. Loved the pace of it all and the dream like flow
This was a cool retelling of the story. I enjoyed the read. Biggest criticism would be that the dialog near the end felt off. maybe too explainy. It felt jarring for Wendy to stand up to him. at least time. I think it would of been cool if initially it was more physical. him trying to give hook what it wants but Wendy able to cleverly slip free and turn the tables.
other than my own personal preference not really anything else i could criticize one. well structured, kept me in suspense of what was gonna happen and ended kinda like a camp fire story might. gives it that lingering vibe.
great job! sorry it took so long to read this.
Thank you for reading! This is a great insight, and I always love to hear different interpretations to a story - there’s so many ways they can go and I really like what you suggest here. Appreciate you taking the time to leave feedback!
A clever retelling of a classic story that makes a very enjoyable read, congratulations!
Thank you!
i think your works have been my favorite so far on substack! i love the dark writing so, so much. chilling and beautiful! 🖤
Thank you so much 🖤🖤 I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed them and I hope to put out more dark stories soon!
The cycle continues . . . This was super dope. Um I might be dumb but I didn’t notice Pete was well — PETE until the realization of the hook at the end. Super dope shit. Loved the pace of it all and the dream like flow
Haha it was definitely supposed to be a little disorienting. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Excellent dialogue!!
You found a great rhythm on this one, friend! Nice work.
Thank you! I’m glad you think so :)
I wish I could write half as good as you. I enjoyed your tale of the hook
Wow thank you, this is truly a compliment.
I love how dark this is!
Haha thank you!
I was hooked (pun intended) right from the start. I love a good twist on a classic tail.